Chasing Animals; Great Escape Tales from the Farm
A wise farmer once said, “No amount of coffee can wake you up quite as fast as hearing, ‘The cows are out!’” While we have yet to experience the joys of chasing down cows, we have indeed had our fare share of escapees out here at Patch of Heaven. In the moment, these “adventures” are usually far from amusing, but boy do they make good stories!
Beware of Goats
Last fall when we caved and agreed to let the boy child and Grandpa finally get their goats, we were warned by everyone. ‘Better have strong fencing!’ ‘Watch out for goats. They’re the true escape artists!’ Heeding these warnings, we worked harder than ever to make sure the correct wire fencing materials were selected. T-posts were properly spaced and pounded further down to secure them. It was a full family affair building an escape-proof pen. I felt like the smartest almost goat owner in the world!
What we didn’t consider, was the fact that we had fainting goats. Escape artists my Aunt Fannie! Jo managed to squirt out between the edge of the fence and the barn one time. Any guesses how we captured the elusive creature? Jason jogged in her general direction and she immediately froze. You see, the fainting part of fainting goats is actually a condition that causes their muscles to become rigid, leaving them essentially helpless. He was able to grab her horns and casually walk her back to her yard. Clearly the goat owners who so thoughtfully warned us need a different kind of goat!
Sheep on the Other Hand…
The sheep advice we received was quite the opposite of the goat warnings. Sheep are skittish and easily trained to electric fencing was the common theme. God bless all of these well-intentioned folks, but they’ve never met Al. Our ram, Al, was a big hit in the 4-H world. The judges loved him and couldn’t believe he was a ram due to his mild temperament.
And it’s true, as rams go, that Al is a mild-mannered gentleman. But Al also thinks he’s a big dog and loves the company of others. Being raised on pasture is a challenge for him as the pasture is separate from the other animals’ living quarters. Since the other animals can’t/won’t come to him, Al likes to bring himself to them! If I had a nickel for every broken clip, busted wire, pulled muscle, terrified chicken, and small electrocution that ram has caused, I would be long retired!
Those Pigs Though
Pigs. (sigh) I have enjoyed raising pigs far more than expected. Truly. They are smart, funny, energetic, and have lovable personalities. It’s like a pen full of giant, four-legged preschoolers playing in the mud. But Oh. My. Stars! With all those smarts and personalities come some great escapes! One of our first hogs, Rosie, was the runt. She caught up quickly and finished at a perfect size just like her counterparts, but before she caught up, she was the ideal size for escape. She’d shove her little snout under the bottom fence wire to test things. The minute the coast was clear, she was gone. My darlings have literally spent hours circling the barn chasing that little pig. And catching her was only half the battle. You see, once a pig has escaped, they will use those smarts and only return to the pen through that same exit point. Rosie’s escapes always resulted in plenty of muddy clothes.
And Then There’s Betty
But by far, the best escape to date has been Betty. When the other hogs loaded the trailer to take their final trip to market, Betty got a pardon. Rach had fallen in love and Betty got reassigned as the inaugural breeding pig of Patch of Heaven Farm. We knew that first night alone in her pen would be rough, but had no idea how rough!
In the first day alone, Betty took her lifetime escape count from 0 to 3. First she pushed out the gate. Then she broke through a wire. Each time she broke out, the boys worked their tales off to reinforce her escape point and secure the area. After her last escape and hours of working in the dark and the mud, Jason assured me that she was fine and would be good until morning.
Just before 5:00 that next morning, we got a call from the neighbor. Betty had once again broken free and this time made her way to the neighbor’s horse pasture. They informed us that they had managed to get her corralled on their back patio and that she was very upset, but seemed unharmed. Rach and I threw on our boots and headed out to get her.
Our first plan was to lure Betty with grain and simply walk her down the neighbor’s drive, along the side of the road, and back into our yard. As we grabbed the grain, we heard a loud squeal, wood cracking and a terrible crash. Betty had busted through their fence as was back on the run.
The next plan was to call her over to the wire fence that separates our properties and coax her down the fence line to the road. Mind you, it was still pitch dark out and Betty is an all black pig. It was nearly impossible to see her through the trees and brush but thankfully, Betty has always had good set of pipes, so tracking her by sound was not a problem.
When she got to the fence line, it was immediately apparent that one way or another, she was going through that fence. Trying to minimize any further destruction, to Betty or the fence, I ran to the barn and got a bolt cutter. Rach managed to keep her distracted so I could cut a big enough hole to get her through. After a brief struggle, she was back in our yard but still highly aggravated. We agreed that Rach would just lured her with grain slowly toward the barn.
If you’ve ever tried to move a 400 pound hog, you know how challenging the task can be. Now add in the fact that she was mad as a hornet and you can begin to imagine our struggles. Rach and I pushed and pulled and dragged and begged and Betty didn’t budge. Sweaty and exhausted, we abandoned the barn plan and, miraculously, were able to shove her into the escape-proof goat pen.
This whole event was happening on a school day, so we ran inside to quickly get ready. Not two minutes later, we heard the screams and grunts again. I looked out to see Betty uprooting the impenetrable goat fence! The next sequence of events are a bit of a blur. There was yelling (me) and screaming (Betty) and mass confusion (all of us) as we frantically tried to get back outside before she escaped. I ran out of the house toward the barn just in time to see a giant black pig’s butt squeezing into the barn through the small goat door. There was squealing, bleating, and big crashes followed by two fainting goats, completely locked by fear, falling/flying out of the goat door into the yard as if they’d been shot from a slingshot. Not far behind these terrified and now paralyzed goats, was Betty, calmly walking over the pieces of what used to be the goat ramp as if nothing ever happened.
In the end, the damage count included four fences, two permanently scarred goats, a pair of spooked horses, a small cut on Betty’s back, and a few extra years off my life. Later that day, the kune piglets moved out of the barn to live with Betty in the pigpen. They are now best friends and Betty is again, peaceful and content in the pig yard.
Keeping Our Boots by the Door
I have no doubt that our great escapes have only just begun. It’s part of raising animals after all. Wires break, fences bend, and these critters’ plans don’t always align nicely with ours. So we’ll keep our boots by the door, extra spools of wire in the barn, and be on the ready for the call, ‘The cows are out!’
